30 November 2016 - TOP ONE-LINERS




TOP ONE-LINERS

G'day folks,

Time for some more one-liners.


·         Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

·         If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

·         If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

·         If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

·         Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

·         Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

·         Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

·         If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?



·         Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

·         How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

·         How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

·         Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

·         One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
·         Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

·         Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

·         If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

·         Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

·         If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

·         If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?



Clancy's comment: I loved some of these, and they made me wonder who originally wrote them.

I'm ...