A BUNCH OF
WITTICISMS
G'day folks,
Now, these might spark up your day. If they do, pass them on to someone who needs them.
- I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
- Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.
- I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
- If all is not lost, where is it?
- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
- The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
- I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
- It was all so different before everything changed.
- Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.
- Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
- A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
- I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
- The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
- Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
- If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
- Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
- Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.
Clancy's comment: Well, did they raise a smile?
I'm ...
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