FROM PAUL KEATING
Welcome to some top quotes from a former Australian Prime Minister - Paul Keating; one of Australia’s sharpest politicians and stand up speakers.
"What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him."
"He's wound up like a thousand day clock..."
"...the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition..."
(Of his 1986 leadership) "From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I'll do everything to crucify him."
"He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague."
"But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It's like 'Spot the eyebrows'."
"I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot..."
"He has more hide than a team of elephants."
"I do not want to hear any mealymouthed talk from the Member for Benelong."
"The principle saboteur, the man with the cheap fistful of dollars."
"Come in sucker."
During Great Debate '96: "You're so rude!"
"Now listen mate," [to John Browne, Minister of Sport, who was proposing a 110 per cent tax deduction for contributions to a Sports Foundation] "you're not getting 110 per cent. You can forget it. This is a fucking Boulevard Hotel special, this is. The trouble is we are dealing with a sports junkie here [gesturing towards Bob Hawke]. I go out for a piss and they pull this one on me. Well that's the last time I leave you two alone. From now on, I'm sticking to you two like shit to a blanket. "
"...You stupid foul-mouthed grub."
"Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!"
"You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten."
(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.
He always turns around when I drop one on him. He can't psychologically handle it.
"There he sits, all dressed up like a Tony Barlow doll but with no place to go.."
I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead."
"Yesterday, on a personal matter against me, we had old dozy over there, the Honourable Member for Wentworth."
"I have a psychological hold over Hewson... He's like a stone statue in the cemetery."
"I'm not going to be fairy flossed away as my opposite number, John Hewson, is prepared to be fairy flossed away by some spaced out, vacous ad agency. "
"I'd put him in the same class as the rest of them: mediocrity. "
"This is the sort of little-boy, stamp your foot stuff which comes from a financial yuppie when you shoe him into parliament. "
"Hewson's only made the grade on paid advertisements. He's put me under no pressure at all. The only one who's put us under pressure on any issue is Peacock. He's an old cynic and he goes for the issues. Hewson's on television a lot but he hasn't put me under any pressure. "
Clancy's comment: Loved his passion. You either hated him or loved him.