NEGATIVITY
G'day folks,
You may
be in daily interaction with negative people, be they friends, family members,
a romantic partner or colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can't
just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is
eating away at you. What can you do?
The best
way of dealing with life's challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and
take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.
Never give your power away by blaming others for what you
have or don't have, what you feel or don't feel. Once you do so, you'll become
a victim of circumstance, and instead of using your time and energy to beat
life's challenges, you'll sink to a dark and miserable place.
Here are 9 smart, positive and effective ways
of dealing with the negativity of the people close to you:
1. Give up the need to complain.
Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood.
Don't go complaining that other people's negativity is affecting you, because
it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts
and feelings and see what you can do to make yourselves feel better and
change the existing situation.
"Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks
happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in
futile efforts."
Samuel Johnson. 
2. Similarity Attracts
Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and if we want to or
not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our
internal state. Ask yourselves: "How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited,
thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?"
You may find that you yourselves radiate misery to the environment and
that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of
yourselves.
3. Don't believe everything you think.
This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at
the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going?
That affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your
brain playing games with you?
Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and one it
focuses on someone's negative qualities, it'll be very hard to get it to see
the positive side of things. It doesn't mean it's not there.
4. Focus.
Ask yourselves: "Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am
I able to see their good qualities?"
Let the answers come naturally, make sure you are being honest with
yourselves.
If you feel like you're insistent and won't change the way you are
looking at people and situations, don't give yourselves a hard time. This
takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you'll make this step.
Remember, we all have good in us.
"It's so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to
do it."
Annie Gottlier. 
5. Don't make their problems YOUR problems.
For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their
problems and becoming negative about them yourselves. If you want to cure
negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won't help,
just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns.
Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.
6. Taking ownership.
Instead of being a victim and judge, blame and pass criticism, you
need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a
different approach.
"Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better
understanding of ourselves."
Carl Jung.
Don't waste your time obsessing and thinking: "They are ruining
my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my
own..." Instead, say to yourselves: "How can I use this for my
advantage? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I improve the
situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative
energy? What do I learn from all of this?"
7. Come with your own positive energy.
Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the
other way around is also true. Focus on making yourselves happy enough that
you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away
from it.
Remember, energy is contagious.
How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the
negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life and the
world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That
way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially.
If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the
opposite is also true, and you'll be able to hopefully 'wake up' your fellow
workers. You can't focus on them both at the same time, so choose - happiness
or misery.
8. Be part of the change you'd like to see.
The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep
inside.
Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a
merry life, that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness...
We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to
change the world.
Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and
the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well,
and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain.
Flow with life events, don't resist them, live in harmony and be the
change you wish to see in the world.
"Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never
overestimate your power to change others."
Wayne W. Dyer. 
9. Awareness and acceptance
Work on
understanding life's inevitable duality - accept the negative with the good.
Don't
harp on people's negativity, don't judge or fight them. Let them be, look and
accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you
are, deep inside.
"Knowing
your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others."
Carl Jung.
Clancy's comment: Not sure about you, but I despise negative
people. They suck the life out of you. To me, the secret in life is to
surround yourself with positive people.
Hope these helped.
I'm ...
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