23 October 2013 - KIDS LETTERS TO GOD

KIDS LETTERS TO GOD

G'day guys,

Time for us to hear some real hard facts from those who will care for us when we are old and feeble. Ya just gotta love kids, eh? Cop these letters written by kids to God.

Dear God:	How come my brother has a pee pee and I don't? Did you run out of them?
Dear God:	My Mommy is sad a lot since Daddy went away. We can't find him. Can you?
Dear God:	My turtle died. We buried her in our yard. Is she there with your now? If so, she really likes lettuce.
Dear God:	I have scary dreams at night. Mommy says I can't come in with them anymore 'cuz I'm too big for that. Where do scary dreams come from, or should I ask the devil that?
Dear God:	Did you invent skateboards? Do you have them up in Heaven too? I love mine a lot and can do lots of tricks already. Do you like watching me?
Dear God:	I'm sorry I forgot the words to your songs yesterday in Sunday School. I don't sing that good anyway so sometimes I just hum along. Is that o.k. with you?
Dear God:	Could you please make my legs be strong? I want to play like the other kids. They tease me so please make them stop.
Dear God:	Do you throw the lightening down at us? It scares me a lot when it goes BOOM. Please stop it.
Dear God:	I love Jesse a lot. When I told him, he pushed me down and made me cry. Mommy says he must like me too. What do you think?
Dear God:	Molly got new pink shoes, and I want them. Is that bad? I won't steal them or anything, but would you send me some too?
Dear God:	I hate it when Daddy drinks his beer. He smells awful. Then he sleeps. He gets mean and yells at me a lot. Did you make up beer? Why?
Dear God:	When I get big I want to play basketball. Maybe you could make my skin black so I can play better. Also, make me really tall, too.

Dear God:	Do you like it when I pray to you? I do, too.
Dear God:	My Sunday School teacher says you always love me. Is that true? Even after what I did to Sara yesterday - or do you know about that? I really am sorry so I wish you would still love me.
Dear God:	My grandma is dying. She says you want her back with you, but I want her to stay here with me. You can have anyone you want. She's all I have, so please let her get better and stay.
Dear God:	Did baby Jesus cry all the time? My new brother does, and I don't like it. Mommy says all babies do, and I did when I was little. I'm six now. I don't think baby Jesus ever cried. He's your son, so you must know the answer. We have a bet on it, so please write back.
Dear God:	Why did you make snakes and spiders? I'm afraid of them.
Dear God:	Could you send me a horse? Caitlan has one, and she's always bragging about how fun he is. I want a bigger and smarter horse than hers. My horses' name will be Bullet so make him the fastest too, please.
Dear God:	My teacher is mean. She always yells at us. She's old and ugly. Why did you make bad and mean people?
Dear God:	Help me to not wet my bed anymore. I keep getting whippings, but I still can't stop.
Dear God:	Why do old people smell funny?
Dear God:	I saw a kangaroo and a buffalo today at the zoo. I like the lion best. What is your favorite? I think the ostrich is funny looking - did you do that on purpose?
Dear God:	I don't like brussel sprouts. Do I still have to eat them? I don't like milk, either. Mostly I like pizza.

Dear God:	Would you make me a little brother? I want to have someone to boss around like my brother does me.
Dear God:	Why didn't you make me special? Cloe is specially pretty and Janine is specially smart. Ryan can run faster than anyone and wins all the races. Tina has perfect teeth. And Carmen can speak two languages. Did you forget to give me something special to be?
Dear God:	My dog, Bowser is getting really old now. He gets up slowly and doesn't keep up with me anymore when we run. Mommy says he's going to die one day. Could you just make him a puppy again instead?
Dear God:	I have no best friend. Everyone at school seems to have a best friend but me. Could you send me one, please? And hurry.
Dear God:	I have a spelling test on Tuesday. I never get all the words right. Maybe you could help me this time. Or is that cheating?
Dear God:	I have a lizard named Ernie. He only has three feet 'cuz one of them got caught in the door. I didn't mean to do it though. Would you fix it back again?
Dear God:	In Sunday School we learned that You are everywhere. How big are You? As big as Shaq? He plays basketball and is the biggest I've ever seen.
Dear God:	Do you know when I'm bad or good? Or is that just Santa Claus?
Dear God:	I play worse than anyone on my soccer team. I'm the smallest one, too. That doesn't seem very fair. Did you play a dirty trick on me?
Dear God:	Please make me pretty. Because I think I'm not very smart.
Dear God:	Do you listen to my prayers every night? Do you really know when I only pretend to brush my teeth? Don't tell Mommy, O.K.?

Clancy's comment: Today is 'ELF Day' (Early Learning is Fun) here, and I was guest speaker at a school full of smart, gorgeous kids. Besides a few personal questions such as 'How old are you?', it was a top day. By the way, my answer to that question was simple ... 'Very old'. The kids asked some staggering questions. However, they loved my final comment, 'I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.'

I'm ... the biggest kid on our block.

Love ya work, kids ... love ya work.