18 August 2016 - THE HUMOUR OF KIDS


G'day folks,

We all know that kids say funny things. Here is a sample:

A few months back my wife showed a picture of herself to our 3-year-old daughter. In the picture my wife is about 7 years old. “Do you know who this is?”
Daughter: (gasps) “That’s me when I’m bigger!”

I love that she thought this was actually possible.

My son when he was 6: “Dad, can we get a cat?” Me: “Your Mom is allergic to cats, so no.” My Son: “When Mom dies can we get a cat?” Me: “Sure.”

This morning, my wife told my 3-year-old daughter that owls were nocturnal. My daughter responded, “Yes, owls are not turtles.”

My 4-year-old is currently singing a song he made up himself. He only has a chorus that goes “You can’t soooooolve Mississippi’s problems.”

Son and I are playing catch. I have a terrible throw that sails over his head. I say, “Sorry, that was a bad throw.” He stops, gives me a kind look and says, “No daddy, that was a wonderful throw.” Then takes 2 steps towards getting the ball. He stops again, turns back around and says, “When we say something nice, even when we don’t mean it at all, that’s called being polite, right?”

My four-year-old son was in the bathroom with the door closed.

I knocked and said, “What’s going on in there?”
His reply: “Nothing, it’s just me and my penis.”

I was putting my son to bed when he was about 5, and after the bedtime story, right when I was tucking him in and turning out the light, he said “Nipples. I love ’em. What about you?” with this totally serious expression. It took major effort to remain composed and try to make it look like I was taking his question seriously.

My little sister was at the doctor’s office for her annual check up–she had to be somewhere around 3. The nurse was asking all the standard coordination type questions–touch your nose, put your hands up, jump, etc. Being a healthy capable little devil, she’s doing everything fine. Then, the nurse says, “stand on one foot.” My little sister looks at the nurse, looks down, and hesitates. Then she walks over and stands on one of the nurse’s feet.

My cousin’s daughter’s response to “I love you,” was “I love me too” for the longest time.

Clancy's comment: Mm ... And I've heard them say smarter and ruder things than these. 

I'm ...

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