2 March 2014 - FEAR OF SUCCESS


G'day folks,

Ever thought about being a star in hollywood, or a famous sports person? How would you handle it? In my case, not easily. Yep, I've thought about it a lot. Why, because it's a definite possibility and I think fame will attract odd people; those whom I would not normally spend time with; those who want something from me; those who will want to use me up and spit me out because I just happened to be the flavour of the month. 

Fame is sometimes thrust upon you when you are least prepared. That's why I have thought a fair bit about it. Yes, it can do immense things for your career, but at what cost? What about you? Do you crave it? Are you prepared for what it will bring? Do you think you deserve fame? If so, read today's post, courtesy of Karen Jonson.

"Does this sound familiar? You believe that you have been working hard towards publishing and marketing your books. But success has been elusive.
If so, one of two surprising, but powerful, mental obstacles could be at work: a fear of failure or fear of success.

Fear of success and fear of failure share many of the same symptoms — and both fears hold you back from achieving your dreams and goals.

For instance, suppose you don’t push yourself to take advantage of a book promotion opportunity, and the reason is because you secretly fear that the additional income and recognition would jeopardize your integrity and family relationships. You’re worried that you would be so busy working to maintain your success that you’d never see your family, and you might be forced to make choices that would make you uncomfortable.

This scenario may sound far fetched, but experts say these issues are more frequent than people realize.

The biggest problem for many people is that their fear of success or fear of failure is largely unconscious. They don’t even realize that they’ve been holding themselves back from doing something amazing that will help them achieve their goals.

Understanding and Identifying Fear of Failure

Many of us are afraid of failing at least some of the time. It’s almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure.

But “fear of failure” is when we allow fear to stop us from doing the things that can move us toward our goals and dreams. People who succumb to their fears probably live so cautiously that they cannot make a move forward.

If you have a fear of failure, you likely experience some of these symptoms:
  • Immobilization. A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.
  • Self-Sabotage. Examples include procrastination, anxiety, or a failure to follow through with goals.
  • Low Self-Esteem or Self-Confidence. For example, negative statements such as “I’ll never be good enough to sell my books,” or “I’m not smart enough to market my books.”
  • Perfectionism. A willingness to try only those things that you know you’ll finish perfectly and successfully.
Understanding and Identifying Fear of Success

Fear of success is the projected fear of negative consequences or side effects from what success can potentially bring. Hence, you are essentially acknowledging that success can result in both positive and negative consequences. Your aversion to the thought of negative consequences is more than the pleasure gained from the thought of positive consequences.

“The fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life,” says Ti Caine, a hypnotherapist and life coach based in Sherman Oaks, California, in Psychology Today.

“The fear of success is very real because the future is real — we’re all heading there — and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us.”

To create and sustain success it is essential to find and release your fears of success. The more you leave the task undone, the more your fears will control you.

“It’s the monster in the closet,” says Caine. “And it gets bigger.”
These are signs that you may have a fear of success 
  • Lack of motivation
. For example, you frequently compromise your own goals or agenda to avoid conflict in a group, or even conflict within your family.
  • Downplaying of dreams. For example, you self-sabotage your work or dreams by convincing yourself that you’re not good enough to achieve them.
  • Slow progress.
 For example, you avoid or procrastinate on big projects, especially projects that could lead to recognition.
  • Sustained underachievement
. For example, you believe that if you do achieve success, you won’t be able to sustain it. Eventually you’ll fail, and end up back in a worse place than where you started. So you think, “Why bother?”
  • Internal confusion about what you really want.
 For example, you feel, subconsciously, that you don’t deserve to enjoy success in your life.
  • Negative emotions such as guilt, shame, denial, or envy.
 For example, you feel guilty about any success you have, no matter how small, because your friends, family, or co-workers haven’t had the same success.
  • Disconnected with your true self. For example, you don’t tell others about your accomplishments.
Taking Action to Overcome Your Fears

To keep the fear of failure and fear of success from undermining your goals and dreams, it’s best to address the fear of success and fear of failure as soon as possible.

Fear in any form is not a good thing. It creates internal conflict.

The good news is that the more you face your fears, bring them to the surface, and analyze them rationally, the more you’re likely to weaken those fears – and dramatically reduce your reluctance to achieve your goals.

When you start to acknowledge your resistance, acceptance begins taking place. Fear dissipates. The law of attraction works favorably. Success should not be too far away.

There are too many obstacles in the way of authors — we don’t need our own fears to be another roadblock on the road to living our dreams of being successful authors.”

Clancy's comment: Thanks, Karen. In the last few weeks two of Australia's top sportsmen, and others, have suffered a meltdown in one way or another. And, an Aussie actor and his girlfriend were involved in a scuffle or dummy spit with the media in New York. Ah, the pressures of modern living and fame and glory. 

However. Yesterday I watched the speech by Kevin Costner at Whitney Houston's funeral. Very sobering indeed. Whitney, wow, a beautiful woman who had a powerful voice. But, she has gone, and far too early.

In many cases, melt downs and dummy spits often relate to an inability to adjust to 'normal' life after careers have waned. Not only but also, the paparazzi, the media and we, members of the general public, probably give too much time, space, oxygen, money and energy to so-called famous people. 

By the way, Billy Joel once said, 'A star is a ball of gas.' So, be careful what you wish for. It could come back and bite you on the derriere.

I'm ...

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