29 December 2014 - COVERS AND BLURBS



COVERS AND BLURBS

G'day folks,

Today I feature an author's comments on covers and blurbs - Matthew Gallaway. In the coming months I will present other views of other authors on many subjects relating to publishing. Stay tuned ...



Matthew Gallaway



I remember feeling a little sick when my agent told me in no uncertain terms that the cover is “the most important part” of a book, and I felt even sicker when he ended our discussion about blurbs by declaring that the process was “war.” 


As for my cover, I was asked for absolutely no input, but as it turned out, I genuinely loved what my editor sent to me. The only changes that were subsequently made—after consulting with my agent—was to change the font. Although I never would have thought of it myself, I think it was an excellent idea, and helped to make the cover more “readable.” (You can judge for yourself.) I was equally excited recently to get the paperback version, which also arrived without any input from yours truly. Short version: I consider myself very lucky in terms of covers. 

As for blurbs, I think it’s a horrible, ugly word, and I try not to use it in polite conversation, even going so far as to substitute the pompous “endorsement.” (Much the way I feel about using “gig” in the context of indie rock, which yeah, no.) Try saying “blurb” a few times without feeling humiliated and embarrassed: there, you see what I mean? Unfortunately, I think blurbs are important, less from a consumer-perspective than in terms of building “buzz” within a publisher, specifically helping to get the marketing and sales “on board.” That said, getting the blurbs almost gave me a nervous breakdown, because I didn’t know any “real writers.” For the first time, I felt sorry not to have an MFA (and the connections to potential blurbers it seems to bring) and even less logically about getting a C+ in my creative-writing class in my sophomore year of college, as a result of watching literally 99 percent of the network coverage of the 1988 Winter Olympics, which wouldn’t have been so bad except I somehow managed not to “get rid of” my television until May, at which point I was pretty much a zombie, academically speaking.

 I also regretted writing some nasty blog reviews about books written by prominent nonheterosexual novelists ___ and ___, which leads to my one piece of advice to unpublished authors on this subject: don’t waste time tearing down books you hate; focus on what you love, because it’s actually pretty difficult to scrub old blog posts from the Internet, as I learned the hard way lol. The last thing the world needs is another asshole critic, and if the time comes when you’re asking around for blurbs, trust me, you’ll regret being that asshole. 



I did send out hand-written requests to perhaps 10,000-15,000 of my favourite authors, including a few gay ones, one of whom was kind enough to write back saying that he “never” blurbs books, even those written by non-heterosexual debut novelists, a “solidarity card” I had been very naively hoping to play. (Note: just because gay writers have generally been ignored and abused and suffocated for the past century doesn’t mean that if you’re a gay writer you’ll be welcomed with a trumpet fanfare and red carpet through the gilded gates of the “literary community,” gay or otherwise; if anything you’ll be viewed MORE harshly by gay writers for reasons that probably are more deserving of sympathy than scorn, although as mentioned above I regret to say I’ve not always been able to resist the latter impulse, although I like to think I’m much better than I used to be.) 

As it turned out, the blurbs I received came either by way of connections to my agent or editor, or—for the two I procured myself—fellow denizens of the blogosphere. I will say that there was no connection I did not attempt to exploit, no matter how remote, and I still feel a bit “whored-out” from the whole experience. (Which is no reason not to do it; just brace yourself, is what I’m saying.) Happily, in every case the “endorsements” came from writers whose work I greatly admired and had written kind things about on my blog (see note above regarding not being an a-hole.) 


Matthew Gallaway is the author of The Metropolis Case.  

Matthew's website:


Clancy's comment: Thank you, Matthew. Mm ... I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. Besides the title and cover design of your book, the 100 or so words you write on the blurb are more important than any word you write in your book ... If you want it to sell it. Too often, authors tell us how the story ends before we have even opened the book. Don't! Suck them in, entice them and seduce them. That's your job. If you've done exactly that inside the book, why not do it on the back cover?

Not only but also, my simple, yet ruthless rule is this: COVER - BLURB - CASH REGISTER!


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28 December 2014 - SMART KIDS


SMART KIDS

G'day folks,

Time to listen to the wisdom of some smart kids.


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
 



A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'




The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'


Clancy's comment: Don't ya just love the way kids say it like it is. Sadly, they grow up and become adults, and we know what some of them are like.

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27 December 2014 - JANE AUSTEN


JANE AUSTEN
1775 - 1817

G'day folks,

Welcome to some facts on one of the most famous authors ever.



Early Life Jane Austen


Jane Austen was born in Steventon, Hampshire on 16th December 1775. She was the 7th daughter of an 8 child family. Her father, George Austen, was a vicar and lived on a reasonable income of £600 a year. However, although they were middle class, they were not rich; her father would have been unable to give much to help her daughters get married. Jane was brought up with her 5 brothers and her elder sister Cassandra. (another brother, Edward, was adopted by a rich, childless couple and went to live with them). Jane was close to her siblings, especially Cassandra, to whom she was devoted. The two sisters shared a long correspondence throughout her life; much of what we know about Jane comes from these letters, although, unfortunately Cassandra burnt a number of these on Jane’s death.


Jane was educated at Oxford and later a boarding school in Reading. In the early 1800s two of Jane’s brother’s joined the navy, leaving to fight in the Napoleonic wars; they would go on to become admirals. The naval connections can be seen in novels like Mansfield Park. After the death of her father in 1805, Jane, with her mother and sister returned to Hampshire. In 1809, her brother, Edward who had been brought up by the Knights, invited the family to the estate he had inherited at Chawton. It was in the country house of Chawton, that Jane was able to produce some of her greatest novels.



Novels of Jane Austen


Her novels are a reflection of her outlook on life. She spent most of her life insulated from certain sections of society. Her close friends were mainly her family, and those of similar social standing. It is not surprising then that her novels focused on 2 or 3 families of the middle or upper classes. Most novels were also based on the idyll of rural country houses that Jane was so fond of.


Her novels also focus on the issue of gaining a suitable marriage. Marriage was a big issue facing women and men of her time; often financial considerations were paramount in deciding marriages. As an author, Jane used to satirise these financial motivations, for example, in Pride and Prejudice the mother is ridiculed for her ambitions to marry her daughters for maximum financial remuneration. Jane, herself remained single throughout her life. Apart from brief flirtations, Jane remained single, and appeared to have little interest in getting married (unlike the characters of her novels.


The strength of Jane’s novels was her ability to gain penetrating insights into the character and nature of human relationships, from even a fairly limited range of environments and characters. In particular, she helped to redefine the role and aspirations of middle class women like herself. Through providing a witty satire of social conventions, she helped to liberate contemporary ideas of what women could strive for.


During her lifetime the novels were reasonably popular. One of her strongest supporters was Walter Scott. He said of her novels:


“That young lady has a talent for describing the involvements of feelings and characters of ordinary life which is to me the most wonderful I ever met with”


King George IV actually requested that one novel could be dedicated to him. Emma is therefore dedicated to the King, even though Jane did not maintain any liking towards the King.


Not all were favourable to Jane. The literary critic and wit, Mark Twain, said:


“Jane Austen? Why, I go so far as to say that any library is a good library that does not contain a volume by Jane Austen. Even if it contains no other book"



Death of Jane Austen


Jane died in 1816, aged only 41. She died of Addison’s disease, a disorder of the adrenal glands. She was buried at Winchester Cathedral.



There are two museums dedicated to Jane Austen.

  • The Jane Austen Centre in Bath and
  • The Jane Austen’s House Museum, located in Chawton cottage, in Hampshire, where she lived from 1809 –1816


In 2005, Pride and Prejudice was voted best British novel of all time in a BBC poll. Jane was also voted as one of the Top 100 greatest Britons



Novels of Jane Austen

  •  Sense and Sensibility (published 1811)
  •  Pride and Prejudice (1813)
  •  Mansfield Park (1814)
  •  Emma (1816)
  •  Persuasion (1818) posthumous
  •  Northanger Abbey (1818) posthumous




 Clancy's comment: I wonder how many other books she'd have written if she had lived longer? Also, I wonder if she ever imagined how popular her books would become.

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