SUBTLE HUMOUR
G'day folks,
Time for a laugh. Some of these are very corny, but others are fairly sharp.
Clancy's comment: Mm ... Some were okay.
I'm ...
Showing posts with label SUBTLE HUMOUR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SUBTLE HUMOUR. Show all posts
11 January 2015 - SUBTLE HUMOUR
SUBTLE HUMOUR
G'day folks,
Ready for some subtle humour to make you smile - or throw up?
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This says it all.......
Pythagoras' Theorem: .............................24 words.
Lord's Prayer: ............................................... 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: .................................67 words.
Ten Commandments: .........................................179 words.
Gettysburg Address: ....................................................286 words.
US Declaration of Independence : ..............................1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: ...............7,818 words.
EU Regulations on the Sale of CABBAGES: ...................26,911 words
Pythagoras' Theorem: .............................24 words.
Lord's Prayer: ............................................... 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: .................................67 words.
Ten Commandments: .........................................179 words.
Gettysburg Address: ....................................................286 words.
US Declaration of Independence : ..............................1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: ...............7,818 words.
EU Regulations on the Sale of CABBAGES: ...................26,911 words
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
TEN (10) THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
You have received this because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category.
Clancy's comment: Are you smiling?
I'm ...
29 September 2014 - SUBTLE HUMOUR
SUBTLE HUMOUR
G'day folks,
Time for some very subtle humour.
1. ONE
TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.
2.
ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF
MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE
MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS
LIVE.
5. I
WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP
SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF
A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF
SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED
A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS
THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10.
WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
11.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF
A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13.
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14.
WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND
CLEAN THEM?
15. IF
A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16.
CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF
THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18.
WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
19.
HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
20.
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
21.
ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
22.
DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
23. DO
INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
24.
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
25. IF
ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
26. IF
YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
27. IF
YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
28.
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
29.
WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF
"ASSTEROIDS"?
30.
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
31.
WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
32. IF
YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
33.
CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
34.
WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY', THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR
OWNERS ARE BLIND?
Clancy's comment: There ya go! Ah, the complexities of the English language.
I'm ...
Think about this!
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