19 March 2015 - SARCASM

SARCASM

G'day folks,

We have all heard or made a sarcastic comment at some stage in our life. Well, I'm sure some folks are experts. Here are some samples.

·  You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

·  Now we know why some animals eat their own children.

·  Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

·  Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

·  If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder. It would be an apocalypse!

·  This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

·  I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

·  When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

·  A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.

·  Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

·  Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

·  Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

·  Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

·  Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

·  Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?

·  He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

·  I bet you get bullied a lot.

·  I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

·  I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

·  I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

·  I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

·  I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.

·  I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

·  I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

·  I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.

·  I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

·  I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.

·  If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

·  I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

·  I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

·  I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

·  Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

·  People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

·  She's the first in her family born without tail.

·  That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

·  There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

·  What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

·  Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

·  What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?

·  You are not even beneath my contempt.

·  You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

·  You grow on people, but so does cancer.

·  You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

·  You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

·  You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

·  Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.

·  You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

Clancy's comment: There ya go. Wow, what a collection of snippy comments, eh?

I'm ...